for now, my whole life is supposed to be revolved around studying. at least for the next 2 weeks, for it will determine whether i can get what i want to get out of this school. which is to get out of the school, actually. the scary thing isn't that i don't have enough time but the fact that, i don't have the..push anymore. like yes i'm scared, very scared and stressed and depressed and everything bad in fact. but i just am not, working. i just feel like throwing everything here down and run.away. such a coward i know.

but what to do?

2 FREAKING MORE WEEKS YOU KNOW OR NOT. 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!! wts.
Lord, help me.

i feel like i'm crushing myself. i wonder for how long more can i hang on to this lifestyle with this happening to me every night. i really wonder how i survived for the past 3 years.

Main Entry: afraid
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: fearful
Synonyms: abashed, aghast, alarmed, anxious, apprehensive, aroused, blanched, cowardly, cowed, daunted, discouraged, disheartened, dismayed, distressed, disturbed, faint-hearted, frightened, frozen, have cold feet, horrified, in awe, intimidated, nervous, panic-stricken, perplexed, perturbed, petrified, rattled, run scared, scared, scared stiff, scared to death, shocked, spooked, startled, stunned, suspicious, terrified, terror-stricken, timid, timorous, trembling, upset, worried 

you feel me?