for now, my whole life is supposed to be revolved around studying. at least for the next 2 weeks, for it will determine whether i can get what i want to get out of this school. which is to get out of the school, actually. the scary thing isn't that i don't have enough time but the fact that, i don't have the..push anymore. like yes i'm scared, very scared and stressed and depressed and everything bad in fact. but i just am not, working. i just feel like throwing everything here down and run.away. such a coward i know.

but what to do?

2 FREAKING MORE WEEKS YOU KNOW OR NOT. 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!! wts.
Lord, help me.

i feel like i'm crushing myself. i wonder for how long more can i hang on to this lifestyle with this happening to me every night. i really wonder how i survived for the past 3 years.

Main Entry: afraid
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: fearful
Synonyms: abashed, aghast, alarmed, anxious, apprehensive, aroused, blanched, cowardly, cowed, daunted, discouraged, disheartened, dismayed, distressed, disturbed, faint-hearted, frightened, frozen, have cold feet, horrified, in awe, intimidated, nervous, panic-stricken, perplexed, perturbed, petrified, rattled, run scared, scared, scared stiff, scared to death, shocked, spooked, startled, stunned, suspicious, terrified, terror-stricken, timid, timorous, trembling, upset, worried 

you feel me?

butterfly fly away

i want to runaway
to some place where there is no one that i know
or no one that knows me
best is to a place where there is a minimal number of human beings
go on a road trip in america or outskirts of countries in europe
here's too depressing
i'll be able to see new things
make new friends
meet a hot stranger, lepak together for the rest of the journey and fall in love
have an escape from this world of mine
then leave it all behind and come back with the memories when i feel that it is enough
knowing that i've lived a life
and is ready to start all over again

so one day when you find that i'm gone
don't you worry because i'll be back
sooner or later
i hope

ideas that really appeal to me right now:

pictures via weheartit.com

like, how can anyone feel happy in this place

if today was your last day

there's a reason why i love her

pictures via noirfacade

just gonna stand there

rose's first adventure! i will improve and take nicer pictures

with my lovely girls

and so, today went out with mama. ate @ fosters, holland village. the food is nice and the so is the ambience! def going back :> watched "step up 3" after that, mama didn't want to watch "heartbreaker" bleh. step up 3's pretty good but nothing can beat step up 1, me thinks. walked around and went to leftfoot to have a look at shoes, mama got me my first pair of sperry top-sider! had a really hard time choosing between the hot pink one patent one and peach canvas one. got the peach one in the end heehee i'll get the pink one next time, just wait. still, lovinggggg mine! AND GUESS WHO SERVED US? mediacorp artiste ben yeo (杨志龙) ! i couldn't recognise him at first, he looks so good in real life and now with his new hair cut. very nice guy too haha.

btw i named it, he's berry the sperry top-sider


school tomorrow yucks.

this place is my house

their hearts changed.
their minds changed.
their souls changed.
only the body remains.
and killing is their aim.

wrote this in remembrance of a really horrible dream i had a few weeks back. i wonder if anyone can die in their sleep due to the dreams they had. then again, i don't think i really want to know either.

anyways, i finally brought rose out to explore ze world. it was so funny at first, i couldn't remember how to put in the film and we were panicking like crap. called shifu but she was sleeping. we did it in the end anyway, but hahaha so many fail moments haha!

my pretty rose :)

walked around town randomly and took pictures! and even though it's not really clear but there, my first outfit post in months hahaha
top- gap, skirt- zara, shoes- charles and keith, necklace- thomas sabo, bag- mango, bracelet - tiffany & co, diana f+ mr pink - gift

oh and we passed by this reallyyyyy awesomeeeeee vintage shop in the complex near haji. i totally had my eyes stuck on this shop the whole time but too bad it's closed x/x i just have this..thing with vintage shops. interesting stuffs

while walking around holland we spotted this really super awesome PINK vespa. HOW SWEET :> i will own one next time hehe

and i fell in love with these post boxes. was really resisting the urge to pluck it off the gate and bring it home. I SHALL TRY TO FIND ONE AND PUT IN MY FUTURE ROOM (which is coming coming coming coming coming I'M SO EXCITED)

going to reminiscence tomorrow with beever and fish, so happy finally after 2 years!! and to develop my first 2 rolls of film as well hope everything turns out good heehee

and i've seen it

on a very bored night..